Guardrails:
Series Overview
Guardrails are “a system designed to keep something from straying into dangerous or off-limit areas.” Just like the guardrails we see on the roads we drive everyday, the guardrails we place in our lives are designed with a simple purpose; to create a small accident to protect us from a larger one. We don’t often spend a lot of time thinking about or paying attention to them, but when we need them, we are very glad that guardrails are there. In the same way that guardrails protect us on the road, when we establish them in our lives, they can help to both protect us and direct us. Most likely our biggest mistakes in life could have been avoided if we had guardrails steering us in the right direction. The goal should never be to see how close we can get to a guardrail without crashing but rather to keep us from ever going “too far,” in the wrong direction.
Session 1: Shift (February 5)
Guardrails are part of our every day experience. Whether we are walking, biking or driving there are guardrails all around us to protect us from those off-limit areas—areas where we could drop off the edge or crash into something. But where are the guardrails in our actual, everyday lives? We have to establish those personal guardrails ourselves so that we can back up and stay on the safe side of a potentially dangerous situation.
Has there ever been a time when you wish you had some guardrails in place—something that would have protected you from a certain situation? Can you share a time that you did have some boundaries and were protected from something because of them?
Session 2: Swerve (February 12)
We may be able to recognize the need for guardrails in some relationships and habits, but what about relationships with our friends? It seems a bit odd to think we may need to set up boundaries with our friends. But our friends have the power to influence our decisions, our actions and even the quality of our lives. With that much potential to determine the direction of our lives, putting up a few guardrails when it comes to our friendships may be one of the wisest things we can do.
How important to you are the friendships you have right now? Do you feel like the friends you have really make a difference in your life? Do you believe that your choices about your friends really matter?
Session 3: Brake (February 19)
Everywhere we go we see images, hear songs, read advertisements and receive the message that sex is great. And it’s true. Sex is great! But what makes sex great is that it is a gift from God, given with a purpose. It was created for intimacy with one person and when we establish guardrails early, we set ourselves up for the greatest potential to experience this intimacy in marriage. Without guardrails we set ourselves up to experience some deep pain, both physically and emotionally. But establishing guardrails is a crucial way for us to have the healthiest relationships we possibly can.
Are sexual guardrails important for both young people and adults? What are some difficulties you may come across when you draw sexual boundaries that culture or your friends may not feel the same conviction about? How can you keep those guardrails firm, even if you are the only one you know who has them? Talk about some sexual guardrails you either have already established or that you are going to establish.
Session 4: Steer (February 26)
Sometimes it can feel like rules and regulations are only there to block us and interrupt our lives. Why would we want to set up rules that keep us from doing what we want? But, the truth is, if we aren’t diligent about creating and keeping guardrails, we set ourselves up for way more pain than any amount of fun is worth. And, establishing guardrails is something we have to make a decision to do. No one else can do it for us.
If someone else tells you what guardrails to have, do you think you will stick to them? Why is it important for you to make a decision to establish guardrails? What do you think is at stake if you don’t set up some guardrails in your life?
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Family Adventure Night
The fifth Sunday night of the month is our Family Adventure Night (or F.A.N.) and it is a Sunday night that is free of youth events (no J.A.M. or small groups) that will allow you and your family the chance to pursue God together while doing something outside of the ordinary.
This month we are asking your family to commit to attend one of the Sunday night worship services that Glenwood Church of Christ offers from 6-7 PM. (Either the Sunday night worship in the chapel at church or the Gathering at the Benevolence center by West Erwin CoC)
This is not an excuse to drive up the attendance numbers at these services (as far as I know there is no attendance taken) but instead an opportunity for your family to experience worship in a different context.
Worship is conducted differently at different places. You will notice some big differences even at these services that are a part of our church. Encourage your family to be looking for these differences, ask them to be prepared to talk about them later. Also, we ask that you try to be at the service 10 minutes before it starts and stay 10 minutes after it’s over and try to meet and talk to as many people as you can. Ask them why they attend this worship, how long they have done so, what they enjoy most about it, etc. After you have worshipped together discuss the following questions together as a family. See what different things each other noticed. Enjoy this holy time together as God invites you to worship Him!
1. Discuss the time spent in worship together. How was it different than worship times your family normally attends? How was it similar to your normal worship experiences?
2. Have your children compare this worship service with a “youth oriented” worship time (examples: youth group bible class, camp, retreat, etc.) What differences and similarities were there?
3. Was there anything in the worship time that seemed different (or boring, or exciting) to the members of your family? Why?
4. Discuss the people your family met or talked with at the worship time. Were they people you normally see at church? Were there people that you or your children did not know?
5. What were the names of the people mentioned in question 3 and why might there be people worshipping there that you have not previously known (or known well?)
6. John 4:24 tells us that, “For God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth." Is it possible to worship in different ways and still worship in spirit and in truth? What does this mean for your family?
7. Plan a worship time including everyone in your immediate family. Let every person pick a favorite song, scripture, say a prayer, make up a dance, or anything else your family enjoys doing that would bring praise to God.
8. Commit together to a time of worship as a family in the next month using the plan you have created. Set a date and time for this that works with your family calendar and make sure that every member of your family is involved in leading and worshipping together.
This month we are asking your family to commit to attend one of the Sunday night worship services that Glenwood Church of Christ offers from 6-7 PM. (Either the Sunday night worship in the chapel at church or the Gathering at the Benevolence center by West Erwin CoC)
This is not an excuse to drive up the attendance numbers at these services (as far as I know there is no attendance taken) but instead an opportunity for your family to experience worship in a different context.
Worship is conducted differently at different places. You will notice some big differences even at these services that are a part of our church. Encourage your family to be looking for these differences, ask them to be prepared to talk about them later. Also, we ask that you try to be at the service 10 minutes before it starts and stay 10 minutes after it’s over and try to meet and talk to as many people as you can. Ask them why they attend this worship, how long they have done so, what they enjoy most about it, etc. After you have worshipped together discuss the following questions together as a family. See what different things each other noticed. Enjoy this holy time together as God invites you to worship Him!
1. Discuss the time spent in worship together. How was it different than worship times your family normally attends? How was it similar to your normal worship experiences?
2. Have your children compare this worship service with a “youth oriented” worship time (examples: youth group bible class, camp, retreat, etc.) What differences and similarities were there?
3. Was there anything in the worship time that seemed different (or boring, or exciting) to the members of your family? Why?
4. Discuss the people your family met or talked with at the worship time. Were they people you normally see at church? Were there people that you or your children did not know?
5. What were the names of the people mentioned in question 3 and why might there be people worshipping there that you have not previously known (or known well?)
6. John 4:24 tells us that, “For God is Spirit, so those who worship him must worship in spirit and in truth." Is it possible to worship in different ways and still worship in spirit and in truth? What does this mean for your family?
7. Plan a worship time including everyone in your immediate family. Let every person pick a favorite song, scripture, say a prayer, make up a dance, or anything else your family enjoys doing that would bring praise to God.
8. Commit together to a time of worship as a family in the next month using the plan you have created. Set a date and time for this that works with your family calendar and make sure that every member of your family is involved in leading and worshipping together.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Thoughts and discussion questions on godly sexuality
How did you learn about sex? Was it in a classroom? Was it from a friend? Was it from your mom or dad? A magazine? A movie?
When you found out about it, did you think you knew more than you actually did? It’s amazing how you can think you are such an expert on something with just the basic facts. That’s probably where your child is. He or she thinks they know all about this subject. Maybe it’s because you had some conversations with them. Maybe it’s because they had sex ed at school. Maybe it’s because they heard some things from a friend, or read something in a book or saw something in a movie.
They think they know what sex is, but there’s a lot more to sex than just the fundamental facts. And for many of us, that’s the part of the conversation that we never heard growing up, and we may not think to have with our kids. But we don’t have to look very far in our own lives or in the world around us to know it’s a reality.
The conversations we are having with your child will lay the foundation for discussions you can have with them as well. As uncomfortable as this topic may be, we encourage you to take this opportunity to broach the subject with your child. Use the following questions merely as a starting point. Let the conversation be natural. And most of all, pray before you talk with your kids. Ask God to help give you wisdom to know where to steer the conversation and what to share.
Also, think about the setting for the conversation. Take a walk or go to dinner, but have the conversation in a place that’s outside of your normal routine. Find a place outside the home if possible and see this time as a way of building relationship with your son or daughter.
Sometimes our teens need to hear not only about the choices we made, but why we made those choices. What we thought sex would get us, when all it did was leave us empty. What we wish we would have done instead and why. Because the truth is, as adults, we understand something that we may not have understood as teenagers—sex is serious, sex is powerful, but as great as sex is, it isn’t everything. And even if we have learned it the hard way, we know you can’t have a relationship solely based on sex.
We’re going to focus the conversation on three different areas that correspond with what your teen is hearing during this series. You can choose to have the conversation weekly, or talk through all of these in one setting.
Just as a word of advice—LISTEN. Listen to what your son or daughter thinks and feels about these issues. Try to help guide them in conversation, and avoid shutting the conversation down. And as scary as the idea of this conversation may be, we encourage you not to approach it as an opportunity to strike fear in your child. See this instead as a dialogue, a chance to be vulnerable and honest, approachable, but still within the boundaries of a healthy parent/child relationship.
Also, keep in mind that your child may feel awkward having this discussion with you as well. Don’t let the eye rolling or the mumbling throw you off. Use these questions as a guide, but feel free to adapt them to persevere through this potentially embarrassing topic. The chances are that your child will appreciate the fact that you attempted to talk about this—even if they don’t fully acknowledge it until years from now.
Create meaningful conversation. Adjust questions as needed, and don’t feel like you need to answer all of them.
Sex is serious (January 8, 2012)
Did you hear anything at church this week that you had never heard before when it comes to the seriousness of sex? What was it?
What do you think sex does in a relationship?
You know about the physical part of sex. (And if your child doesn’t or simply thinks he or she does, this would be a good time to explain it.) But how do you think emotions play into sex?
How does the spiritual part of us play into sex?
How does the “two will become one” show up in the emotional and spiritual side of us? (The physical is obvious.)
When it comes to sex and relationships, how do most people portray what sex does to a relationship?
With sex, does it ever feel like the message culture, friends or media are sending is incomplete? Like you are only hearing part of the story? (probably not) Why or why not?
As the parent, communicate (appropriately) what you think is being left out of the messages about sex your child is hearing.
When someone doesn’t take sex seriously, how have you seen it affect his or her life? (parent: maybe in a marriage of a relative or friend, a co-worker, in the news; student: maybe in the life of a friend or peer from school)
Sex is powerful (January 15, 2012)
Did you hear anything at church this week that you had never heard before when it comes to the power of sex? What was it?
How do you think our culture conveys the message that “sex is powerful”? (focusing on the power of a girl’s body and how she dresses, and the power a guy has when he gets with a lot of girls)
Why do you think guys want to have sex? (If you’re a dad, explain why guys want to have sex.)
Why do you think girls want to have sex? (if you’re a mom, explain why girls want to have sex.)
As a parent, share—either through personal experience or stories of people you’ve known—how powerful the lure of sex is and the way it can change a relationship.
You may want to talk about the power of pornography, and how guys buy into the illusion of sex that requires nothing from them. And increasingly, girls are viewing pornography, buying into the illusion of intimacy that porn portrays of someone desiring them.
Sex isn’t everything (January 22, 2012)
Did the message at church surprise you—that sex isn’t everything?
People have sex for many different reasons. Some people are just curious. They want to know what it’s like. Other people are looking for something.
Some people have sex to find security in a relationship, thinking it will make someone stay or the relationship grow stronger.
Some people have sex to get them status. They want to be known as someone who people desire and want to be with.
Some people have sex for companionship. They just want to be close to someone, anyone, and not be alone.
Some people have sex for acceptance. They don’t want to be a 40-year-old virgin.
If you were sexually active before marriage, this might be a good way for you to talk to your child about some of the choices you made, and why you made those choices.
Have you ever known a couple who was sexually active outside of marriage? Does their relationship seem overly physical?
Does it seem like sometimes when people say “sex is for marriage” that it really plays up the concept of getting married so you can have sex? In addition to sex, what do you think it takes to make a marriage work?
Note for parent: Sex defines a relationship in our culture, but it’s only one part of a relationship. Your child doesn’t hear that. Your child doesn’t realize that while it’s a great thing, it’s also not everything. It’s why sex isn’t the end goal for marriage. It’s why if they choose to wait to have sex until marriage, they need to know that sex isn’t the point once they get there. Sex will be a part of married life. It will draw a husband and wife closer together, but it isn’t the only thing that draws them together. Let your child know what you believe it takes to marriage work—even if those are lessons you learned the hard way—and how sex plays a role in that, but that it’s not the only thing.
When you found out about it, did you think you knew more than you actually did? It’s amazing how you can think you are such an expert on something with just the basic facts. That’s probably where your child is. He or she thinks they know all about this subject. Maybe it’s because you had some conversations with them. Maybe it’s because they had sex ed at school. Maybe it’s because they heard some things from a friend, or read something in a book or saw something in a movie.
They think they know what sex is, but there’s a lot more to sex than just the fundamental facts. And for many of us, that’s the part of the conversation that we never heard growing up, and we may not think to have with our kids. But we don’t have to look very far in our own lives or in the world around us to know it’s a reality.
The conversations we are having with your child will lay the foundation for discussions you can have with them as well. As uncomfortable as this topic may be, we encourage you to take this opportunity to broach the subject with your child. Use the following questions merely as a starting point. Let the conversation be natural. And most of all, pray before you talk with your kids. Ask God to help give you wisdom to know where to steer the conversation and what to share.
Also, think about the setting for the conversation. Take a walk or go to dinner, but have the conversation in a place that’s outside of your normal routine. Find a place outside the home if possible and see this time as a way of building relationship with your son or daughter.
Sometimes our teens need to hear not only about the choices we made, but why we made those choices. What we thought sex would get us, when all it did was leave us empty. What we wish we would have done instead and why. Because the truth is, as adults, we understand something that we may not have understood as teenagers—sex is serious, sex is powerful, but as great as sex is, it isn’t everything. And even if we have learned it the hard way, we know you can’t have a relationship solely based on sex.
We’re going to focus the conversation on three different areas that correspond with what your teen is hearing during this series. You can choose to have the conversation weekly, or talk through all of these in one setting.
Just as a word of advice—LISTEN. Listen to what your son or daughter thinks and feels about these issues. Try to help guide them in conversation, and avoid shutting the conversation down. And as scary as the idea of this conversation may be, we encourage you not to approach it as an opportunity to strike fear in your child. See this instead as a dialogue, a chance to be vulnerable and honest, approachable, but still within the boundaries of a healthy parent/child relationship.
Also, keep in mind that your child may feel awkward having this discussion with you as well. Don’t let the eye rolling or the mumbling throw you off. Use these questions as a guide, but feel free to adapt them to persevere through this potentially embarrassing topic. The chances are that your child will appreciate the fact that you attempted to talk about this—even if they don’t fully acknowledge it until years from now.
Create meaningful conversation. Adjust questions as needed, and don’t feel like you need to answer all of them.
Sex is serious (January 8, 2012)
Did you hear anything at church this week that you had never heard before when it comes to the seriousness of sex? What was it?
What do you think sex does in a relationship?
You know about the physical part of sex. (And if your child doesn’t or simply thinks he or she does, this would be a good time to explain it.) But how do you think emotions play into sex?
How does the spiritual part of us play into sex?
How does the “two will become one” show up in the emotional and spiritual side of us? (The physical is obvious.)
When it comes to sex and relationships, how do most people portray what sex does to a relationship?
With sex, does it ever feel like the message culture, friends or media are sending is incomplete? Like you are only hearing part of the story? (probably not) Why or why not?
As the parent, communicate (appropriately) what you think is being left out of the messages about sex your child is hearing.
When someone doesn’t take sex seriously, how have you seen it affect his or her life? (parent: maybe in a marriage of a relative or friend, a co-worker, in the news; student: maybe in the life of a friend or peer from school)
Sex is powerful (January 15, 2012)
Did you hear anything at church this week that you had never heard before when it comes to the power of sex? What was it?
How do you think our culture conveys the message that “sex is powerful”? (focusing on the power of a girl’s body and how she dresses, and the power a guy has when he gets with a lot of girls)
Why do you think guys want to have sex? (If you’re a dad, explain why guys want to have sex.)
Why do you think girls want to have sex? (if you’re a mom, explain why girls want to have sex.)
As a parent, share—either through personal experience or stories of people you’ve known—how powerful the lure of sex is and the way it can change a relationship.
You may want to talk about the power of pornography, and how guys buy into the illusion of sex that requires nothing from them. And increasingly, girls are viewing pornography, buying into the illusion of intimacy that porn portrays of someone desiring them.
Sex isn’t everything (January 22, 2012)
Did the message at church surprise you—that sex isn’t everything?
People have sex for many different reasons. Some people are just curious. They want to know what it’s like. Other people are looking for something.
Some people have sex to find security in a relationship, thinking it will make someone stay or the relationship grow stronger.
Some people have sex to get them status. They want to be known as someone who people desire and want to be with.
Some people have sex for companionship. They just want to be close to someone, anyone, and not be alone.
Some people have sex for acceptance. They don’t want to be a 40-year-old virgin.
If you were sexually active before marriage, this might be a good way for you to talk to your child about some of the choices you made, and why you made those choices.
Have you ever known a couple who was sexually active outside of marriage? Does their relationship seem overly physical?
Does it seem like sometimes when people say “sex is for marriage” that it really plays up the concept of getting married so you can have sex? In addition to sex, what do you think it takes to make a marriage work?
Note for parent: Sex defines a relationship in our culture, but it’s only one part of a relationship. Your child doesn’t hear that. Your child doesn’t realize that while it’s a great thing, it’s also not everything. It’s why sex isn’t the end goal for marriage. It’s why if they choose to wait to have sex until marriage, they need to know that sex isn’t the point once they get there. Sex will be a part of married life. It will draw a husband and wife closer together, but it isn’t the only thing that draws them together. Let your child know what you believe it takes to marriage work—even if those are lessons you learned the hard way—and how sex plays a role in that, but that it’s not the only thing.
Sex Is... Discussion Topics
The questions are intended not just to be asked by you, but to be responded to by BOTH of you. Use this opportunity to find out what God is teaching your child, and allow your child to see what God is teaching you as well.
Sex Is . . .
Series Overview
Everyone has an idea of what sex is. Some people think it simply is an act to meet a physical “need.” Others believe it’s the way to make a relationship closer. Some people treat it like an addiction, while others have been burned by it. So what is sex? What was it created to be? Because if everyone has such a strong idea of what it could be and should be, maybe we need to find out what it is really and how we live with what we learn?
Session One: Sex Is . . . Serious (January 8, 2012)
Sometimes the things that we think are not a big deal really are. Take sex for example. Sure, it’s a big deal to some people, but other people dismiss it as just a normal part of a relationship or a rite of passage. And when treated that way, if we aren’t careful, sex becomes just something casual. But sex isn’t really casual. It’s, well, serious. There’s more to it than just a physical act. It’s more complex than that. And while we know it’s a big deal because of what “bad” things could happen, there’s a much bigger reason why it’s serious—it’s how God created it to be.
Session One Parent Cue: How do you see people perceiving sex as not that big of a deal in real life and in the media?
Session Two: Sex Is . . . Powerful (January 15, 2012)
You know sex is power in our culture when it’s used to sell cheeseburgers or furniture. But sex is power in a relationship too. Guys and girls use it to get what they want. And the tricky thing about sex is, just when you think you have the power, it can backfire. When you try to abuse its power, everybody loses. You can’t underestimate the power of sex, because if you aren’t careful, it will end up costing you.
Session Two Parent Cue: How can sex have power in a relationship? How can it affect you and how you see yourself and the other person?
Session Three: Sex Is . . . Everything? (January 22, 2012)
Sex is serious. Sex is powerful. But sex isn’t everything. Yes, we said it. Sounds like heresy in our culture, doesn’t it? But there’s more to relationships than just sex. Sex may meet a need, but it never fully satisfies the deepest needs we have. There’s more to relationships than that. There are plenty of married Christian people who “get” to have sex, yet find out that there’s more to connecting with another person than just physically. Yes, sex is great. Yes, sex is important. But sex wasn’t created to meet every need and be everything.
Session Three Parent Cue: What makes a marriage “good”? Describe some specific things that make up a healthy marriage. (Some of these things will be from lessons you may have learned the hard way. You may want to consider sharing some of those lessons with your teen if age-appropriate.)
Session Four: Sex Is . . . More (January 29, 2012)
Information can be overwhelming. Sometimes you just want someone to set everything aside, and get real with you. You want him or her to have a real conversation. This session is much different from the rest of the series. It takes into account the past three weeks, but also gets real with where students are. Because when it comes to sex, they may be at different places. And they need someone to acknowledge that and help them move in a good direction.
Session Four Parent Cue: What did you learn from this series?
Sex Is . . .
Series Overview
Everyone has an idea of what sex is. Some people think it simply is an act to meet a physical “need.” Others believe it’s the way to make a relationship closer. Some people treat it like an addiction, while others have been burned by it. So what is sex? What was it created to be? Because if everyone has such a strong idea of what it could be and should be, maybe we need to find out what it is really and how we live with what we learn?
Session One: Sex Is . . . Serious (January 8, 2012)
Sometimes the things that we think are not a big deal really are. Take sex for example. Sure, it’s a big deal to some people, but other people dismiss it as just a normal part of a relationship or a rite of passage. And when treated that way, if we aren’t careful, sex becomes just something casual. But sex isn’t really casual. It’s, well, serious. There’s more to it than just a physical act. It’s more complex than that. And while we know it’s a big deal because of what “bad” things could happen, there’s a much bigger reason why it’s serious—it’s how God created it to be.
Session One Parent Cue: How do you see people perceiving sex as not that big of a deal in real life and in the media?
Session Two: Sex Is . . . Powerful (January 15, 2012)
You know sex is power in our culture when it’s used to sell cheeseburgers or furniture. But sex is power in a relationship too. Guys and girls use it to get what they want. And the tricky thing about sex is, just when you think you have the power, it can backfire. When you try to abuse its power, everybody loses. You can’t underestimate the power of sex, because if you aren’t careful, it will end up costing you.
Session Two Parent Cue: How can sex have power in a relationship? How can it affect you and how you see yourself and the other person?
Session Three: Sex Is . . . Everything? (January 22, 2012)
Sex is serious. Sex is powerful. But sex isn’t everything. Yes, we said it. Sounds like heresy in our culture, doesn’t it? But there’s more to relationships than just sex. Sex may meet a need, but it never fully satisfies the deepest needs we have. There’s more to relationships than that. There are plenty of married Christian people who “get” to have sex, yet find out that there’s more to connecting with another person than just physically. Yes, sex is great. Yes, sex is important. But sex wasn’t created to meet every need and be everything.
Session Three Parent Cue: What makes a marriage “good”? Describe some specific things that make up a healthy marriage. (Some of these things will be from lessons you may have learned the hard way. You may want to consider sharing some of those lessons with your teen if age-appropriate.)
Session Four: Sex Is . . . More (January 29, 2012)
Information can be overwhelming. Sometimes you just want someone to set everything aside, and get real with you. You want him or her to have a real conversation. This session is much different from the rest of the series. It takes into account the past three weeks, but also gets real with where students are. Because when it comes to sex, they may be at different places. And they need someone to acknowledge that and help them move in a good direction.
Session Four Parent Cue: What did you learn from this series?
Sex Is... Moving towards a holy sexuality
Sex - there it is. The three letters that can stop the parent of a teenager in their tracks.
Sex is a part of the culture we live in. Students hear about sex in the music they listen to, they see it portrayed in the movies and television shows they watch, it infests the internet they spend so much time on, they talk about it at school with their friends. How should we respond to this onslaught as parents and youthworkers?
We could pretend that students don't hear and talk and are curious about sex. We can hope that they will figure it out on their own and pray that they won't get in trouble. We could do that - but when we do, Satan will win the war for our children's bodies and minds and souls.
What if we talked about it? I don't just mean giving the "birds and the bee" talk. I mean actually talk about why sex is serious, powerful and important to God. Talk to them about what role sex and their sexuality will have in their life now and in the future.
The next four weeks at Glenwood the 6-12 graders are going to be discussing sex. Not the Whats and Hows of sex but the Whys.
Why did God create sex?
Why are my friends obsessed with it?
Why is sex such a big deal in my music, shows, and movies?
These next four weeks will be filled with serious questions and probably some snorts and giggles (especially in the Middle School class!)
You as parents are invited into this discussion. There will be discussion guides posted on this blog for you to use in your time with your children. I earnestly seek your prayers as we launch into this study. Pray for our teachers and small group leaders. Pray for our students and your children. Pray that we can discover another way of thinking about and discussing sex - a way that brings glory to God through the lives of his children.
Sex is a part of the culture we live in. Students hear about sex in the music they listen to, they see it portrayed in the movies and television shows they watch, it infests the internet they spend so much time on, they talk about it at school with their friends. How should we respond to this onslaught as parents and youthworkers?
We could pretend that students don't hear and talk and are curious about sex. We can hope that they will figure it out on their own and pray that they won't get in trouble. We could do that - but when we do, Satan will win the war for our children's bodies and minds and souls.
What if we talked about it? I don't just mean giving the "birds and the bee" talk. I mean actually talk about why sex is serious, powerful and important to God. Talk to them about what role sex and their sexuality will have in their life now and in the future.
The next four weeks at Glenwood the 6-12 graders are going to be discussing sex. Not the Whats and Hows of sex but the Whys.
Why did God create sex?
Why are my friends obsessed with it?
Why is sex such a big deal in my music, shows, and movies?
These next four weeks will be filled with serious questions and probably some snorts and giggles (especially in the Middle School class!)
You as parents are invited into this discussion. There will be discussion guides posted on this blog for you to use in your time with your children. I earnestly seek your prayers as we launch into this study. Pray for our teachers and small group leaders. Pray for our students and your children. Pray that we can discover another way of thinking about and discussing sex - a way that brings glory to God through the lives of his children.
Monday, September 26, 2011
Making It Personal
Allow your teen to see how you strive to grow so they can understand how to confront their own limitations and pursue character and faith.
NOT QUITE GROWN UP By Tim Walker Are you done yet? Are you completely grown up? Be honest. Yeah, me neither. Sure, I put on the guise of being a grown-up every day—I’m married, have three kids, work a job, drive a car, pay a mortgage. But if I was completely honest, I still have some growing to do. And I’m not talking about my waistline. (Ahh, the 40s.) Quite honestly, there are times when I feel anything but grown-up. There are times when I want to run and hide like a little kid. There are times when I want to pitch a fit like a toddler. There are times when I want to eat dessert first. (Well, that last one I actually can do. Refer back to the earlier comment about the waistline.) These realities make it quite clear that I still do have a lot of growing to do. I’m not done yet. I still need to learn. I still need to be challenged beyond what is comfortable. I still need to be willing to discover new things about who I am, who my spouse is, who my children are and the world I live in. I want my relationships to grow and be more than what they are today—and that includes my relationship with God. Sure, it would be easy to ride that one out. After all, God and I have known each other for years. But just like with any relationship in my life, I don’t want it to stay right where it began. It would be easier to stay where I am. It would be more convenient, require less time and less attention, but let’s be honest. The relationships we have with people where this is the case, rarely go the distance, and seldom do they ever become lasting relationships with genuine connection. With these people the conversation is only going to go so far. The connection is going to be limited. Like many of us have probably learned the hard way, relationships not invested in and not cared for don’t make it. Relationships not growing are slowly dying. I don’t know about you, but I don’t really want that to be the case with the people I care about.I want my relationship with my wife to be more than it was when we first met. I want my relationship with my kids to be more meaningful than when I changed their diapers. Relationships are meant to be dynamic. They were meant to grow and change. And that includes my relationship with God. And here’s one thing that is awesome about God—He wants this relationship to grow too. And He will use all kinds of things to make that happen. He wants me to not only grow in what I learn and know about Him, but He also wants me to grow as I experience life with Him. Not only that, He will bring people in my path to direct me. He will use circumstances that cause me to lean into Him and prove how trustworthy He is. He will take my simple “I’ll do it” when I volunteer for something and show me how serving connects my heart to His. So many people see being a grown-up as the finish line, reached when all their goals are accomplished. Those are goals filled with the “If I can justs . . . “ If I can just . . . get a job, get married, have kids, buy a home. But you and I know those justs can be moving targets. But the God who made you and me, the God who knew us before we were born, is the God who says, “You’re not done yet.” There’s still so much He wants me to know, and there’s still so much He wants you to know. I’m not done yet. I still need to grow. And I will be at this place until the day I die, because He’s a big God, and there’s still so much He wants to show me. So you’re not a grown up. You’re simply growing up.
Session Two: Big Life (October 2, 2011)
You can know a lot. Maybe you know the stats of every football player in the NFL. Maybe you know the cheat codes to hundreds of games. Maybe you know every Scripture in the New Testament. But unless you do something with what you know, then what you know isn’t enough. Especially when it comes to our faith. God’s truth was meant to be put into action. It was meant to affect our lives, our relationships. And when we begin to live out the truths we know, something happens to us our faith. It begins to grow.
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